Bumper Stickers

I do not condone or indorse these. They are simple in good fun. Do not read if your are easily offended.

Who died and made YOU Dath Vador?

Too Many Freaks, not enough circus's

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at maths

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart.

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!

I took an IQ test and the results were negative

I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!

I'm not littering... I'm donating to the earth.

She's not a loudmouth Bitch - she's verbally assertive.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay of the sidewalk.

The more I learn, the less I understand.

Prevent inbreeding: Ban country music

WARNING! I only carry $20 in ammunition

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

Lord save me from your followers

Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.

Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit

God must love stupid people, he made so many.

I said "no" to drugs but they just wouldn't listen

Friends don't let friends drive naked

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die

I smile because I don't know whats going on

One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubbon to ask for directions

Whats better? A lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?

For all you who talk about me, thankyou for making me the centre of your world.

I'm not weird! Honest! I'm just gifted.

The next time you think your perfect try walking on water.

Comfort the disturbed. Disturb the comfortable.

Love: Two vowels, two consonants, two fools

We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again

The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse who gets the cheese

Follow your dream! (unless its the one where you're at work only wearing underwear during a firedrill?

I don't get even, I get odder

I'm not broke. I'm just having an out of money experiance

Make the world go away

Jesus in coming, everyone look busy

Theres too much blood in my alcohol system

I need someone really bad... are you really bad

Beauty is in they eye of the beer holder

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing

The more you complain, the longer god lets you live

You just lost the last chance you never had

What a shame... looks like the ugly fairy kissed you on both cheeks

4 out of 5 voices say go back to sleep

I am not a player, I am the game

I ran into my ex the other day, put in to reverse AND HIT HIM AGAIN

As an older more mature young adult, your job is to... make fun of little kids

extreme is not a mood, it's a lifestyle

Ociffer, I swear to drunk I'm not god

Born with no soul, lack of control, cut from the mould of the anti - social

You'd be pretty good looking if it wasn't for your face

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because my man thinks I am

Guys are like roses, watch out for the pricks.

If your naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine

Heven won't have me and hell's afraid I'll take over!

A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey.

I'm an angel honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight

Did you fall down the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down?

What? Not everything is black and white?

Even though the vocies aren't real they have really good ideas.

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional

I am jesus christ on Ecstacy

Your such a muggle

My god can beat up your god

Your jealousy causes my energy... ever wonder why I'm so hyper?!

I don't know what your problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce

Not the brightest crayon in the box are you?

I wouldn't be normal, even if I knew what that was.

Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.

Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!

Don't make me get the flying monkeys

One by one the peguins steal my sanity

I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

I'm trying to see things your way but I can't seem to get my head that far up my butt.

People think I'm crazy, actually I'm just bored

Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.

I don't know. I don't care and it doesn't make any difference.

Was today really necessary?

Do unto others before they do unto you

The light at the end of the tunel is the headlight of the oncoming train

In theory, everything works.

Don't let schooling get in the way of your education

Death is lifes way of telling you your fired

If everything is coming your way, your in the wrong lane.

Do not belive in miracles. Rely on them.

Nothing is illegal until you get caught

Your lucky colour has faded

If it doesn't fit force it, if it breaks it needed replacing anyway.

Horn broke. Watch for finger.

Live long enought to be a problem for your kids.

If it weren't for people like you, nobody else would have an above average I.Q.

I'm so hungry, I'm farting fresh air.

I'm you can do the time, you can do the crime.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the priviledge.

I didn't kill the preps, they did it to themselves.

Sunlight is for mortals

Humpty Dumpty was pushed!

Adults are just kids with money

T.G.I.F. Thank god I'm female

Never eat more than you can lift

Your lucky number is 32345543423225. Watch for it everywhere.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can advoid all togeather.

If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.

A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.

They keep saying the right person will come, I think a truck hit mine.

I just love non - verble communication

You can't be late until you show up.

I'm not opinionated. I'm just always right.

I'm blonde... what's your excuse?

I'm so sweet that I've been know to cause diabetes

Hell yeah, I got issues. SO?

You don't know me. You just wish you did.

If you think your it, than your shit.

I'n my world you do not exist.

The whole world is going to hell, and I'm driving the bus.

I'm not insane. Yet!

Its not easy being a princess.

Don't believe anything you think.

Forgive and forget - but keep a list of names

Take my advice - I'm not using it.

ignore idiots - replies only encourge them.

Normal people scare me.

I don't repeat gossip - so listen carefully

Pink is the new orange

Nice girls finish last

Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, what happened to you?

Do I look like I care?

I do whatever my rice crispies tell me too.

So many people, so few comets.

You say crazy like it's an insult.

I only look sweet and innocent.

Constipated people don't give a crap

Practice safe sex: go screw yourself

Accidents cause people

Who lit the fuse on you tampon?

If you don't like oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

To all virgins: thanks for nothing.

Impotence: nature way of saying 'no hard feelings'

If your not a haemorrhoid, get off my arse

Cleverly disgused as a responsible adult

Eat right, exercise, and die anyway.

I havn't lost my mind: its backed up on a disk somewhere.

Boldly going nowhere

Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks your an arsehole

These are not good times to be near me.

I'm psycho but in a good way

I don't hear the voices, I am the voices.

Traumatize thy neighbor

I don't have issues. I have a subscription

The lights are on but nobody's home

Don't piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

If barbie is so popular then why do you have to buy her friends?

You all laugh because I'm different, I laugh because YOU'RE all the same.

I don't need your attitude - I have my own

BITCH - it's not an insult anymore.

I am 38% evil, whar r you?

Drinking and driving don't mix. That's why I ride a bike.

Your just jealous because all the voices are talking to me

A life? Where can I download one of those?

Bitch.: It's a tough job but someone has to do it.

The day is not complete until I've terrified a complete stranger.

I'm just a good dirl corrupted by bad things

Worship me for the goddess I am!

The more you disapprove, the more fun it is for me.

I have PMS and a gun. leave me alone.

Lifes a bitch and then you die so fuck the world and go get high!

Princess? maybe. Goddess? possibly. Bitch? HELL YEAH!

No on is a virgin!!! Life screws us all!!!

I hear voices and they don't like you

I'd be a prep but I can't get my head that far up my ass

If you want to worship me go ahead...

Don't eat Mr. MooMoo...go vegetarian

I wanna be like barbie. That bitch has everything.

Well hey, do I look like a Angel to you?

Put your mind in gear b4 opening your mouth.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Your only bad if you get caught - so I guess that makes me a good girl.

I don't discriminate! I hate everyone!

In some cultures what I do is considered normal.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day and tomorrow isn't looking good either.

Your village just called, their missing their idiot.

God made men first because all master pieces need a sloppy copy.

Don't think of me as the best looking person in the world, think of everyone else as ugly.

Call me anytime... I won't be home.

My door is always open so feel free to leave.

Don't smile - it scares people.

Before you decide to live by the early bird policy, you need to take into consideration weather you are the bird or the worm.

Don't call me a goddess. Don't call me a queen. Just call me the cutest princess you've ever seen!